Realization

Having a full scholarship to play volleyball has allowed my family to save tons of money by going here. I am very lucky to not have a debt to pay when I graduate. There are also a number of perks as well as special treatment to playing a sport in college. It is an advantage as well as a disadvantage but now that I look back I did not realize how lucky I was to actually be able to go here and continue my volleyball career. I have had a rough past four years, with the drama on the team, dealing with losses, feeling like you are a failure countless times, people telling you that you can't do something, lots and lots of tears, wanting to quit, realizing that I am human and I am not the best at everything, enduring physical pain weekly if not daily, living with regret, what seemed like depression for awhile, learning to deal with people you dislike daily, did I mention tears, doing LOTS of things everyday that you don't want to do, but you have to. It seems like all I do is focus on the negative things. But, I am realizing that all of these things only made me stronger, and I defintely am a different person now compared to when I walked into that first meeting we had on August 10 of 2003. The things that I don't think of when I look back are the positive things, the memories, the people, the experiences, the lessons, the things that made me a better person. I am a happier person now that volleyball is over, but a part of me feels like I am nothing anymore. For the past fifteen years sports is what I have been about. I was always known as the great athlete, the star, always in the newspaper, but it's all over now and I hate it. I hate not being apart of a team anymore, I miss the competition, the excitement of a close match, sweating, feeling strong and confident about my body. Now all of the new younger athletes don't know who I am, they'll never see me play my favorite sport, now will I know what it's like to be at my best and step onto the court in front of a crowd and play the best game of my life (32 kills). I will never play a sport in front of my family again.... It's crazy but all of those years I hated going to practice, waking up for 7 am lifting, dreading running or doing summer workouts, team functions, and the feeling of being nervous because of the pressure of winning a match, and now I don't know what to do now that it's all over. I would love to have one more season, those millions of times I told myself and others that I hated volleyball and I couldn't wait for it to be over I only thought about the negative things I was going through, I didn't think about all of the things that I would miss and I do miss. Having a free Drake education and volleyball career with countless perks and things just given to me seems like a dream and I am very lucky to have had that but I am just realizing it now. I do regret not enjoying more during the seasons and just dwelling on the negative, but it's all in the past, and now I can just be a lucky person and think back, look at pictures, watch the team on the bench, play volleyball for fun, and enjoy it

The Other Side

Coming back from break, I decided to start working out again. I started going to volleyball practice and just scrimmaging with the girls. At first, it was weird playing again. It has been almost five months. But, I got back into it and played on the "other side," which is the non-starting side or the challenge side. I have seen the other side a couple of times, but throughout the last four years the starting side was my home. So, playing with the coaches and some other scrimmage players was different, but sooooo much fun. Now I know the different between pressure and fun. I play 100 times better when I'm having fun and there's no pressure. If I felt this way throughout my career the outcome would have been a 360 turn around, but it's all in the past. I am now getting back to LOVING volleyball. It has been four years since I have felt this way. Playing volleyball in college is a job, and you don't really get a chance to enjoy it, and the love and passion that you had when you were younger goes away because there are sooo many other factors involved that outweigh these deep feelings. But, I am very happy to be done, but sad because I do miss playing it on the daily basis, which is why I started playing again. My body however did not miss it apparently. I have not felt this sore since pre-season, and I mean every single muscle and bone in your entire body aches, muscles that you never thought you had ache, and it even hurts not to move....HAHA....but live is good on the other side.

Spring Break 2007

For spring break this year, my roommates Liz, Kara, and I drove down to Texas to see Kara's mom in Kingsville. We left Saturday morning and worked our way down to South Texas stopping in Dallas first. We must have found the dirtiest, sketchy, low-class motel/inn and stayed there Saturday night/St. Patty's Day. Our motel smelled like rotten sweaty feet and the bed was slanted with cigarette burns in the sheets. The bathroom was dirty with cockroaches crawling all over the floors. We celebrated the holiday at the skankiest Coyote Ugly in America, where we met countless old men who wanted to buy us drinks and talk to us. We tried to make this trip as short as possible so we left early the next morning and headed to Kingsville with a hangover. We stayed in Kingsville until about Wednesday. We went to the beach in Corpus Christi and also stayed a night in South Padre with hundreds of other spring breakers, which made it even more crazy. But, we left with a tan and a citation for having glass bottles on the beach...holy shit, does it look like I ever go to the beach...yea it's not worth paying 500 dollars a bottle for it. We made our way back up to San Antonio Thursday; we also ran into the men's basketball sweet sixteen crowd. We went to a piano bar (met some really odd, creepy old men there as well) and walked around the river walk all night. The next day we drove up to Austin to spend our last night of spring break on the famous 6th Street. It was crazy down there, since there's two universities, there's so many people that they shut this street off...but we went to some bars and ended the night. The next morning we woke up and made the 11 hour drive back to Des Moines. Personally, I never knew how happy I would be to be back in Des Moines...WOW...Probably never again will I feel this way. But, overall the trip was filled with creepy old men, drama.....drama, good weather, and some laughs. It was fun, but I am so glad I am home.

Funny Random Guy

This picture was taken at the Surf Shack for Betsy Funk's birthday. This guy was dancing in the mirror for himself, oblivous to everything and everyone else in the place. It was hilarious.

How serious is serious

As much as I or people say, intramural basketball or any type of recreational sport does not mean anything, and it should not be taken seriously, I am 100% sure that is all bullshit. Any division I athlete will agree that playing sports for over three fourths of your life makes you competitive by nature. No matter what the competition is, whether its racquetball, basketball or even checkers, I get soooooo pissed when I lose. Especially when it comes to intramural basketball, I am still bitter that we lost, and the fact that having more experienced refs could have made a difference disturbs me. I get pissed everytime I go bowling and my friends who have never played a sport in their lives beat me, I go home with a chip on my shoulder. This trait will never go away. I have it when I drive, when I'm on the interstate or when I'm driving home, I cannot stand it when people pass me. Even when I'm an old lady I'll probably be the same way. Wow, I have problems, but I am sure there are people out there who feel the same way.

Intramural Championship

Well, we lost. And, I will say it was because of the refs...or maybe my big mouth. But, it was brutal. We lost to the staff team which pissed me off even more because they shouldn't even be allowed to participate in student activities. When it comes to basketball I do get physical. If you push me, I'll push you down to the floor and try to do it again. Basketball was my number one sport probably until ninth grade when my volleyball skills kicked in. But, I have always enjoyed playing and watching basketball, but my passion for it has never overpassed my passion for volleyball. Anyway, back to the game, it was close the whole time and it was a very low scoring game. But, I'm pretty sure my grandmother could have called a better game. I'm still bitter. The last play, steal, that I had, which I was tripped on, could have tied or won the game for us...but there was no foul called, because of my harrassing comments the whole game to the refs. But, thinking about it does anger me still.

CONCERT

February 23- Danity Kane/Pussycat Dolls/Christina Aguilera concert
Of course, we were there to see Danity Kane, but everyone else was good too.

Just Some Perks

Just A List of things I’ll miss about volleyball:

-At least four pairs of shoes a year ( 2 running and 2 court)
-At least 48 pairs of long adidas socks
-Three pairs of spandex each year (great to wear as underwear or to bed) (12 pairs of practice spandex)
-Three practice T-shirts a year to keep
-Promotional T-shirts (5 a year) to wear to events or camps
-A pair of grey sweats and a pair of black sweats
-Travel sweats to wear all year round
-Three free book bags
-Travel bag
-3 sports bras a year
-Letterman coats (fleece and letter coat)
-Letterman watch
-Fleece
-Black sweatshirt
-Pillowcase
-Blanket
-1500 dollars every semester for “bills and rent” and anything else you want
-500 dollars for clothes, school, and medical
-Tuition
-Free trips (San Antonio, Six Flags)

I don't remember the last time I had to buy a pair of running shoes or bras or a book bag...it is like Christmas when I get all of this stuff...but not anymore

HATRED

-Pretty much every single driver who does not drive like me
-Inconsiderate/rude people
-People who don’t know how to pick up after themselves
-People who don’t have the common domestic qualities, like doing own dishes after you use them or wiping up a mess you made
-Ruining my clothes because I wear them when I do art
-Weather in the single digits
-Squirrels and most animals
-When there is nothing on T.V.
-People who don’t know any better but should because they’re grown and have no excuse except their stupid parents who raised them
-Feeling useless
-When guys don’t get it.
-When guys don’t do what I want them to do or say what I want them to say, but I don’t want to tell them…I think they should be able to read girl’s minds
-Why a different part of my body aches every day when I wake up and I don’t remember getting hurt or doing anything
-Pimples…I’m 22 years old…when does it end
-Getting older…I would do anything to be a kid again (Being old is not fun)
-Going to the bar or school events and not recognizing anyone (realizing that I am that old)
-I Daydream too much…can’t pay attention for that long
-I have senioritis…but that’s not a good sign since I’ll be a senior twice…so that’s kind of scary

Why are you here?

After my basketball game, last week, I was asked why I was at the gym now that volleyball was over and I don’t have to be there anymore…am I supposed to not work out…am I supposed to get fat and out of shape? According to some people who have not experienced what I have…

Money, please

Where the hell does my money go?
I do live a very expensive life…if you consider always eating out and buying a lot of gas because I drive to class instead of walk extravagant…I do spend a lot of money on food and gas...and I wonder where all of my money goes. I received a check for 1500 dollars at the beginning of the semester for rent and other bills from my scholarship and I have about 150 dollars left of that money and half of it I spent on things that I wasn’t supposed to spend the money on. So, I wonder where my money goes…useless things. I’m learning how expensive life is and I don’t like it.

Workin Out???

Since my last volleyball game November 19th… I have worked out/lifted a total of 8 times, including 4 intramural basketball games…so over a three month period I’ve worked out an average of once a week…not bad from coming off a regiment of at least one workout a day all year round since the age of 9.

USB Drives

I do not trust USB drives. Around this time last year, I misplaced my drive which had most of my junior year work and some of my sophomore work on it, so I thought my life was over. But, I found it and everything was fine. Exactly one year later, my new USB drive just stopped working after only about four months of having it. What the hell is going on with these stupid fucking devices. This time, most of my work was backed up so I didn’t really lose anything, but just going through that again was annoying in itself. So, I do not trust these pieces of shit to spend another penny on another one. I could have bought like three dinners with that money or something.

Offer

So, a few weeks ago, I got an offer from one of the track coach’s wondering if I wanted to continue my college sports career for the next two years throwing the javelin. He said that I didn’t need any experience, I already had the ability to BECOME a good javelinist. (is that a word?) Is this guy nuts? My own father couldn’t even convince me to throw the discus or shot put in high school…does he really think he could get me to do this now? He must be that desperate…well, yes he was when I found out that he had asked half of the volleyball team. I just couldn’t imagine competing with other experienced javelin people during my senior year…during Drake Relays…making a fool of myself in spandex…(been done before) but at least with volleyball I knew what I was doing…but yea, hell no to the javelin throwing…I would rather gain 20 pounds from drinking beer and laying around…sure I’ll go watch during Relays, might be a little drunk…Wouldn’t you think when participating in a college sport you would need some type of experience since it is a higher level…don’t think I could go through being a college athlete again in a different sport.

Basketball

First week of playoffs started yesterday…we played a team called the Ligers…whom we played before and beat by at least 30…who forfeited but still wanted to play for a little while…we didn’t have a ref and the scorekeeper stopped keeping score after our first three baskets…so it was pretty sad…Second round is this Tuesday.

Volleyball News Release

February 13, 2007
Volleyball Names Award Winners at Annual Team Banquet

DES MOINES, IOWA- The Drake women’s volleyball team recently celebrated its 2006 campaign at the squad’s annual award dinner. Four awards were presented at the event.

Senior Eve Johnson (Council Bluffs, Iowa) was honored as the recipient of the team’s Most Valuable Player Award. Appearing in all 30 matches, Johnson turned in a stellar senior campaign as she led the Bulldogs in kills (303), kills per game (3.22), total attempts (960), digs (269), digs per game (2.86) and double-doubles (9). Finishing among the Missouri Valley Conference leaders in kills and digs, she registered the highest single-match kill total of any Valley player last season as she recorded 32 in a victory at Southern Illinois. She finished her brilliant Drake career as the school’s leader in kills and attack attempts and fifth in digs.

Oh, Priests

Earlier this month, I heard that one of the priests that taught at my school for the past fifteen years was asked to leave for allegations of sexual abuse of a child. The minute I heard that I wasn't really that surprised, but if it is true; it makes you think about the people you are around. Do you really know them that well? Especially, priests who are people that you confide in and are supposed to be holy and what not. But, having religion classes with this priest from 7th to senior year, I know that most people knew him to be somewhat sexist. He did not like girls too much. But, if you were a popular athletic guy at the school in any grade, you were his favorite. You could go to his classroom during off periods and just hang out. Or, even ride with him to state basketball games, or even allow him to tag along when there was a guy's night out. Wow, what a cool priest...NOT! I never liked the guy, I always thought there was something weird about him, and no it wasn't the fact that the man looked like Mr. Burns on the Simpsons, exactly like him.

Following diocesan policy, the allegation was first reported to police. Based on a written report of the abuse, Bishop Joseph L. Charron took action to bar Hobt from functioning publicly as a priest. The Des Moines diocese in September 2003 named three priests accused of sexual abuse of children, including a popular Dowling Catholic High School president, and announced they had been removed from ministry. In the time since, Albert Wilwerding died, John Ryan and Richard Wagner, the former Dowling president, reluctantly agreed to be laicized. The Vatican on Nov. 16.

And I will say it again; you never know why priests are accused of these crimes. And, also you really never know who your priest is, and I'm not saying that my ex-priest did it, but I did have a grasp of what kind of person he was, and like I said, I'm not surprised.

80's Rock

You Know You Grew Up In the 80's if:

1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word SIKE.

2. You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey on Blossom

3. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock"

4. You played the game "MASH"(Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House)

5. You ever wore fluorescent clothing. (some of us...head-to-toe)
6. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets
7. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes.
8. You have ever played with a Skip-It.
9. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool
10. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell," The ORIGINAL class.

11. You tight rolled your jeans.
12. You owned a bannana clip.

Athlete Thoughts

Most will not and cannot comprehend and accept the fact that their athletic careers are over. I say comprehend because it is something which many top-level athletes in Division I never fully prepare for.

The feeling of loss and failure. The overshadowing memories of accomplishments and triumphs. The reality that life will never seem to be as complete as it was during our times as student-athletes. These things don't go away overnight or even over long periods of time for some "ex" student-athletes.

It has been difficult to adjust to a world without the competitive nature as sport. Life is eerily different and sometimes is seems there is nothing I can do to replace what once was so much a part of "me" as my own face or name.

I'm not going to lie or try make you think "poor me,", because I am very lucky. I am receiving an education that I am proud of. I have met and learned from people who are different than me in every way. I've had experiences that I wouldn't trade for anything. All this probably would not have been possible without my involvement with sports.

Still, I cannot bring myself to watch a volleyball match. I tell myself that I can't watch because I hate watching things I think I should be apart of. But in all honesty, it is because my volleyball career is over as a collegian and no surgery or help from a teacher is going to change that.
Now I find myself becoming the best "student" or "waitress" no longer “volleyball player” that I know.

Sport isn't just a game, it's been life up to this point and without it I wouldn't be the same. Bottom-line is that moving on is something that must be done.

Work

So I worked Friday night and this morning at my new job, Legends...I made a total of about 120 dollars just working a total of 10 hours...not bad at all...hard work does pay off

Random Thoughts

After this semester I will need 9 more credit hours to graduate...as much as I am tempted to graduate in December and leave Des Moines for good with a BFA in graphic design...I just don't think that I will be satisfied. I have recently been considering getting my teaching endorsement and teach elementary art from experience in working with kids this past summer which I enjoyed so much...this would require me to go a whole fifth year. Other thoughts that do go through my head are the fact that I don't think I could handle a full time job right now, but at the same time I cannot stand being in school

Work

So I start my new job tomorrow night at Legends...before you start working shifts you have to take a test to see how well you know the menu and facts about the restaurant...well I took it tonight and I am pretty sure I passed but with lots of help from the other servers...One of the questions however was, What kind of cheese is on a Turkey Cheddar Melt? By the way, I did not need help for that one

New Pick Up Line

Last Saturday night I went to Drink with a couple of my friends and an older gentleman came up to us and used this fresh new pick up line, "Um, were you ladies looking for me?" Needless to say this pick up line did not work and the guy got no response because we were in shock and he walked away in shame

Closure

I had my last volleyball banquet last Friday at Christophers...very good but expensive food...I received the MVP award and a lot of other senior gifts as well...it wasn't too emotional...nor were the speakers too boring...aka my coach...I laughed a lot...It was good closure...the last time I would ever see some of those people...so it was bittersweet...Six seniors leave the team. Here's a picture of the seniors who showed and their parents...it's my favorite

Undefeated

I just had my second intramural basketball game yesterday and we won by about 30 points...two more games until the playoffs

Basketball

In the past, as an athlete at Drake, I was never allowed to play any other sports, because of the possiblity of getting injured, but all of us ex-volleyball players are on an intramural basketball team ~ so far we are 1-0 ~ we play on Tuesday nights at the Bell Center!

A Little About Me

I love being alone but I get really bored ~ my favorite tv show of all time is Sex and the City ~ I have a reality tv addiction, especially a lot of Vh1’s raunchy shows like I love NY, and Flavor of Love ~ I watch American Idol but only the first audition parts, the best parts ~ I do watch the soap opera, All My Children, just because my mom always watched it and I got into the habit of always knowing what was going on…and with my sister we would always tell my mom how much we hated her show and it was so stupid because it was unrealistic…and yet I make sure I try to watch it everyday ~ I absolutely love food, I will eat any type of food or at least try it…the only type of food that I hate is ORANGE food…oranges, orange juice, cantaloupe, but my number one choice for my future husband’s occupation is definitely a chef...I'm very stingy with money, but I don't mind spending money on food at all ~ I am not an outdoor person by any means, I can’t stand any type of animal (except dogs and fish are okay) but squirrels, birds, and cats scare the absolute s*** out of me. Being outside just boosts my anxiety and I personally hate smelling like I’ve been outside ~ I love being at home with my family and friends and I do like art although I cannot at the moment see myself doing graphic design for a living, but I enjoy doing art when I don’t have to ~ I love music…mostly slow soothing r&b…some hip hop and rap…anything else I CAN stand for a little while…but absolutely no COUNTRY ~ I still watch the popular 1990 lame television shows like Full House and Saved by the Bell ~ Two of my three really good friends from high school are engaged so I’m still in the stage where I can’t believe how old I am but not really ~ But I love watching people, I can't help but stare ~ My patience dwindles for slow drivers ~ I love taking naps ~ I have no tattoos...I grew up in Omaha...and I took dance lessons for ten years ~ stupid people piss me off more than anything on this earth, although I am a very very laidback person it does take a lot to really make me mad ~ I love kids, so I think I want to pursue a career in that area post Drake...so this is me in a nut shell

New Job

So, I've never had a job in Des Moines, until now...I actually just started working at Legend's Bar & Grill in Johnston...so far it's interesting, I've never served food before...but I was told today that the job was stupid easy, so I guess I shouldn't get overwhelmed or confused

1/22

I don't really consider myself a lucky person...but when I was leaving to go eat lunch I seemed to have "dropped" my wallet in the huge snow pile and didn't know it...about two hours later I realized that I had no idea where my wallet was so something told me to look outside maybe I dropped it on accident...and I was right...I found it in the snow...luckily, no one else did

The Way it Was

For the past fifteen years sports has been all I know. I never realized how nice it was to have an afternoon where I didn’t have to walk all the way to the Knapp Center or spend a weekend in another small dingy town in middle America or riding a bus for sometimes eleven hours at a time just to play a two hour match. So, I guess I consider myself a “regular” student now...which is really unusual to think about, but being a regular student and an athlete are very different from what I have experienced in the past four years of playing volleyball plus the past three months learning what it’s like to not have all of the priorities that I have gotten used to having my whole life. Playing division I college volleyball is exactly like having a full time job, except you don’t see any paychecks…you’re there because you have to be…your coach/boss is usually someone you have to listen to but most of the time you don’t want to so you develop selective hearing and often get yelled at for not doing the right thing in the first place…so you’re either rewarded or punished by either playing or sitting on the bench. Injuries are another story…I could name off several parts of my body that throb or bother me when I am just laying in bed at night, my disappointment came when I was cleaning and all I found to throw out were heating packs, ace bandages, braces, dirty kneepads, and I couldn’t sell any of it or use it anymore…I will never miss rushing to class between workouts, no time to shower…sorry if I ever smelled…but walking around campus with my favorite school uniform, sweatpants and a hooded sweatshirt, quickly became a habit which I obviously have not broken free from quite yet. Nor will I miss the pain in my body that would last for a week and then get better and then the soreness would start over again the next day. Feeling sore muscles on your body that you didn't know existed and using muslces that you haven't used in years is a downside but learning experience at the same time. But three hours of practice a day plus another three outside of practice a week, plus weightlifting and conditioning and study hours…one would wonder when I go to school or when I have time or stop and breathe. Well, now I am breathing very well thank you, and my body doesn’t currently hurt right now and I am enjoying walking BY the Knapp Center and seeing all of my old teammates have to be there and I don’t…it’s a wonderful thing. Volleyball is a passion of mine, and now I play for fun...So I'm liking this new "non-athlete" thing SO FAR...